A single flash of light breaks the blackness in the images. The light creates a circle on the black ground which illuminates every object. The innocence of the toys like a tank that is broken and scratched or a brand new military airplane. The calming feeling of putting your head on a wrinkled pillow. The healing properties of an antiseptic plastic bottle. Taking a relaxing bath in a bathtub. Using a blade to cut paper for your projects. Tall towers like the leaning tower of Pisa create an unforgettable memory of a trip. For me, each of these objects had a different meaning. They are a symbolic representation of my thoughts. They personify the ways I thought of killing myself at the age of 14 to 16.
Blackness in the images is a symbol of the darkness I had in my life. Life was killing me and the only light was to commit suicide. This struggle was part of my everyday life. These thoughts became more and more creative in those 2 years like joining the army or air force so that I get to die for my country and make my parents proud. Each line under the image shows the exact thought I used to have while contemplating using one of the methods. Those were the soothing thoughts of killing myself.
It would be too painful to cut myself
How long will it take to suffocate?
But I have a fear of drowning
I have a fear of heights as well
Just an antiseptic would be enough?
Dying for my country would be an honorable death
But I will join the Air Force, at least my parents would be proud